The darkest of faeries, so
evil and so grim
Always imprudent, never
proper or prim
She wants control of the
world and your soul
If she’s not defeated the—
"Louis, what are you
doing?"
"Reciting poetry."
"I thought you were
supposed to be reviewing Neopets: The Darkest Faerie."
"Neopets? I thought they
said this was the Association for Neo-Poets."
By now you’ve heard of
Neopets, most likely through game publications that vaunted the Web site for
acquiring a whopping 30 million users without the average Joe knowing of its
existence. "Average Joe" meaning you, me, and everyone else who attended or
read about the game’s debut at this year’s E3. That enormous, unheard of
popularity – and the fact that the Neopets creatures are well designed and
look as appealing as Pokemon – were all it took to get the attention of game
developers. They couldn’t wait to get their hands on this property and see
what they could do with it.
I still haven’t fallen
victim to the obsession of Neopets.com, so I have no clue as to what its
adventure, story, or characters are about. All I know is what this game
presents: control two playable characters, apply several magic spells, explore
dozens of regions, and engage in combat that resembles Ratchet & Clank and The
Legend of Zelda. Conceptually this couldn’t be better, but the end result is
not always up to its presumed standards.
The Darkest Faerie does
not begin as I had anticipated. All the demos I played let you control both of
the leading characters very quickly. In the final version you won’t get to
control both characters freely until several missions have been completed.
First you’ll have to deal with Tor’s act, which has to do with his life on the
farm and his first trip away from home. Next up it’s Roberta, who has her own
issues and dreams that lead her on this journey where her and Tor will
eventually meet up. At that point you will finally be able to take control of
both characters and switch between them whenever necessary.
Motes, the magical,
spiritual-looking things that float around the game world, enhance your
attacks with magical powers. Since magic is equipped, not learned, you may
apply its essence to more than your weapon. Armor, for example, may be
shielded with magic to guard against enemies who have that attack. Leaf,
Light, Sun, Water, Fire – for every type of monster is a type of mote that can
be equipped to enhance your combat skills.
Fierce battles await, but
before any of that can occur you must fulfill mommy and daddy’s wishes:
Talk to Tormund’s mom,
Patricia – herd the Winnies (small, make-believe woodland creatures) back into
the fence – talk to mom again, she’ll ask you to get water – grab the bucket –
go to the water pump and fill the bucket – talk to Tormund’s dad, Hubert, to
let him know the pump is breaking – deliver the water to mom so she can give
her plants a drink – talk to dad again – meet dad at the pump, he’ll need
pliers – go to the roof to get the pliers – talk to dad again…
If you didn’t see
anything in there about combat you’re not alone. Though you will get to swing
that wooden sword of yours within the first 15 minutes and have the
opportunity to chop a few ferocious plants within the first 30, the majority
of your early missions do not include in-depth combat. Tor will spend his
journey talking to the locals, who tell you to gather items — those items
must be taken back to the locals — who will tell you to gather more items or
talk to more locals.
As you embark on this
journey of knickknacks, chitchats, and occasional hack-n-slashing, the game
slowly builds to the moment when treacherous creatures and big, ugly bosses
need to be exterminated. With Tor and Roberta under your control, nothing can
stop you from fulfilling your destiny!
…Except for confusion.
The worlds are big and fun to explore, but when you have a specific task to
complete, their size becomes a nuisance. I know I’ve been spoiled by a certain
dual-screen handheld that lets me glance at a real-time map at any time, but
that’s no excuse for the problem Neopets have. Zelda, Alundra, Secret of Mana,
Brave Fencer Musashi – good or bad, most RPGs, traditional or action, include
directions that clearly explain where you need to go.
Neopets gives you a map
on a separate screen and an arrow that tells you which direction Tor or
Roberta is facing. If I’m new to the area and received a mission request
before I had the chance to explore, I have no choice but to put every task on
hold for a few minutes while I familiarize myself with the area. To check the
map I must leave the game screen. Okay, I got my position. Now I turn Tor a
little to the left, thinking that I’m angled in the right direction. I start
moving toward the building I think is right and check my map again. If it’s
right, hooray — if it’s wrong, I’ll end up banging my head against the wall.
The navigational issues
might have been more tolerable if the combat wasn’t so stiff. I don’t care how
many adults belong to the Neopets.com community, The Darkest Faerie is
unconditionally a kiddie game. Early demos led me to believe otherwise, but
you can’t have childlike voices, cutesy characters and family-friendly
objectives without entering the kiddie domain.
The question that I pose
to all kiddie games that are frustrating is: why? Why do this to children, the
most impatient gamers of all? The controls are silky-smooth when running,
jumping, and exploring. There’s a lot of depth within the analog sensitivity,
letting you push lightly to walk and push it all the way to run. (It’s a
nostalgic thing for me. I’ve been obsessed with controls ever since Mario 64
and Metal Gear Solid were released.) Neopets’s lock-on targeting system is a
lot like The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, another plus.
But when the battle
begins, players have the unfortunate difficulty of having to overcome a series
of cheap-but-predictable attacks. Monsters are strong and will inflict more
damage more quickly than the enemies in any other kiddie game I can think of.
I’m cool with that – in fact I’m all for it. However, to be for it 100% I’d
have to loosen the battle controls and give myself more attack options. A few
strikes and a couple of combos are not nearly enough. Likewise, the projectile
attacks that Roberta offers could have had a lot more variety.
|
|
Gameplay: 6
Neopets: The
Darkest Faerie’s standout flaw is that it isn’t very exciting. It should’ve
been with its Zelda-inspired combat, massive worlds, lots of scavenger
hunting, etc., among other interesting and highly promising features. Add
excitement to the mix and you’ve still got several thick layers of frustration
to get through: a choppy camera, frustrating battles, and an endless amount of
boring item collection and delivery objectives.
Graphics: 6
Bland
environments that lack color, vibrancy, and all the tiny little touches that
make a PlayStation 2 game stand out.
Sound: 9
A score that
would make Harry Potter proud. This epic masterpiece was composed with the
deepest of inspirations, taking the listener through a journey of trials and
triumphs. Throughout every part of the game – every single location –
Neopets’s music was a spellbinding joy to listen to.
Difficulty: Easy
I might get lost
but I can always find my way. Monsters are cheap but not truly difficult. This
one was built for the kiddies, though I’m not sure how many kids will have the
patience to stick it out.
Concept: 8
Big worlds,
dozens of regions to explore and several motes to acquire – it’s the perfect
setting for a great action/RPG. Stiff combat, lame mission tasks, and a
confusing navigational system are the three main reasons why this setting
fails.
Overall: 6.2
Neopets: The
Darkest Faerie was one of the more interesting games to come out of this
year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo. Though I wish the finished version could
have lived up to its potential, Neopets is a new series to gamers – if
mistakes have to be made, now is the time to make them.
Diehard Neopets.com
members have likely purchased the game or added it to their Christmas wish
list, and I certainly recommend that they check the game out. Notice that I
did not recommend that anyone purchase this game. A rental is your best bet.
You may not be impressed by the silly missions that have players running in
more circles than a celebrity court case, nor will you be completely satisfied
with the stiff combat.
This is, however, the
first chance to see what Neopets looks like in a 3D environment. It’s also a
chance to see what could be done to the series if the gameplay is overhauled
for the sequel.
