Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures 2 Preview: I played this because I hate myself

I still remember when I had to play Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures. I was reviewing the game right here on GameZone, and it wasn't enough that I played the Xbox 360 version. No, I also had to review the 3DS version, which was different from the console versions but just as bad for its own reasons. It's not that those games were especially terrible, but they were so uninspired and soulless that I found myself bored to death the entire time I was playing. But for some reason, I pressed on. Maybe it's because I don't exactly value my own life.

I mean, that has to be the reason I willingly played a demo of the sequel at E3, right? That's right, I actually walked up to the Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures 2 demo station, picked up the controller, and started playing for an extended period of time. No one told me to do it, and I wasn't even specifically assigned to cover the game. I just did it … because I hate happiness.

Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures 2 - E3 2014 - 1

I didn't have any fun playing Ghostly Adventures 2, but I did pay attention to what this game was all about. Basically, it once again emulates everything that made 3D platformers so great all those years ago. Unfortunately, it doesn't do anything particularly well or in an interesting manner to really keep anyone's interest piqued. The more I played Ghostly Adventures 2, the more I wanted to stop, but the more I actually kept playing.

This sequel plays exactly like its predecessor did, and it looks just like it. There aren't any major enhancements or refinements. This is about as basic as a sequel based on a licensed cash-in can get. It's just as soulless as the first Ghostly Adventures, and given the fact that this particular game's intentions are even clearer, it can even be considered more soulless. Damn you Pac-Man and that empty, distant look in your money-hungry eyes. Wasn't Super Smash Bros. enough?

Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures 2 - E3 2014 - 2

The rotund hero can gobble up any enemies he desires despite not eating Power Pellets, which is absolutely asinine. He's also got plenty of vanishing platforms to leap onto and unnecessary items to collect. Yes, Ghostly Adventures 2 is well on its way to being yet another pointless Pac-Man cash-in, so you really shouldn't play it. Don't let your kids play it, either. Even if they beg you, just change the subject or give them candy. Hell, I think giving them sharp objects to play with would be a better idea. Or hey, play Super Mario 3D World with them.

As you can tell, my time with Ghostly Adventures 2 wasn't pleasant. I didn't hate this game as much as I hated the previous title, but that's just because I knew I didn't have to play it, and because I already knew what to expect. If you like good games, don't even bother giving a damn about this title. It's so unimportant to your life that I'm not even going to bother telling when it's launching or for what consoles it'll be available. Let's just end this here. Go play Rayman Legends.

Want to talk about indie games, Kirby, or cheap pizza? Follow me on Twitter @dr_davidsanchez.