Wii-kly Update: Monkeys, Ninjas, and Gluttons, Oh My

It’s E3 week, and Nintendo has released a downloadable game for each “E” we’ve got. Fortunately (?), their brilliant plan of making sure nothing on Virtual Console or WiiWare this week outshines any announcements which they may make is likely going to pay off.

First up is Major League Eating by Mastiff. It’s rated E-10+, serves 1-2 players, costs 1,000 Wii Points, and I still can’t believe they made this. Odds are, if you care at all, you know what the deal is, but if not, here’s a quick breakdown: You’re competing against “the greatest major-league eaters in the world,” using the Wii remote as your untensil to dig through 12 meals. In the process, you have to master “a smorgasbord of digestive attacks, defenses and counters.” And there’s a “barf-o-meter” to avoid, too. There are ten unlockable characters (yes, there are actually characters to unlock), and online play supports friend codes, random matchmaking and leader boards.

Over on the slightly more sane side of things, Ninja Commando comes to the NeoGeo for 900 Wii Points. It’s rated E10+, and you can fight solo or with a friend as you pick one of three ninjas with which to battle through vertically-scrolling levels in pursuit of Spider, a merchant of death who plans to use a time machine to wreack havoc across the world. And it all sounds less crazy than Major League Eating.

And finally, there comes a classic arcade game… well, sort of. Donkey Kong 3, starring Stanley the Bugman, was never quite the classic its prequels Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. were. But for 500 Wii Points, this E-rated game makes a nice addition to one’s arcade collection of downloadable titles as 1-2 players try to rid Stanley’s greenhouse of Donkey Kong and the bees he’s let loose. As if that weren’t problematic enough, there are flowers to protect, too.