Team One: Lara Croft and Nathan Drake
Two acrobatic, tomb-raiding, ruins-climbing, gun-toting explorers on the same team? They’re not only the faces of two amazing franchises with mega-hyped games about to be released, but also amazingly attractive. This might be the best looking pair in the tournament. Imagine how their kids would look! Granted, Lara is the type of woman who would make Nathan take her last name, but Nathan Croft doesn’t sound that bad. Give me the most awesome female video game character ever and the winner of the Best Indiana Jones Impersonation Award any day.
Team Two: Sephiroth and Starkiller
I don’t wanna sound cocky, but how can you top this? Sephiroth is easily the best Final Fantasy boss ever. Starkiller uses the Force like no Jedi before. Also, you can’t kill Starkiller. He’ll just pop up again as a better clone. Between Sephiroth’s summoning abilities and Starkiller’s dual-wielding, lightning-shooting awesomeness, this team is a force to be reckoned with.
Team Three: Kratos and Queen of Blades (Sarah Kerrigan)
Zerg rushed. Game over. Oh, the zerglings didn’t get you? I’ll let Kratos mop up afterwards. He’s the bloody God of War! The guy takes on Zeus … ZEUS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! With the power and numbers of units that the Queen of Blades has at her disposal and the combat-savvy Kratos leading them, how do you defend against this?
Team Four: Ryu and Donkey Kong
Whenever a Street Fighter game comes out, Ryu is the main character. He’s so good that Ken decided to copy his costume and his moves. He’s so good that Marvel sent Wolverine against him, and Ryu didn’t need adamantium bullets. Donkey Kong is so popular that he had a movie (King of Kong) made in his honor. People are constantly trying to play his game and beat the record for best score. What about Donkey Kong Country? Awesome, that’s what. We’ve seen Planet of the Apes. We know how this ends. We just didn’t know that DK was the ape to start it. Try dodging barrel after barrel as Ryu is Tiger Uppercutting your ass.
Mike M’s Teams
Team One: Commander Shepard and Samus
Shepard doesn’t save planets. He saves galaxies. Nay, the universe. He unites warring species. He’s the best ladies’ man in the universe. No female, regardless of species, can resist his charm. He’s a tactical mastermind and a hero. Did I mention that he could be a she, as well? Did I also mention that he/she could be a master of telekinetic powers or a sniper, among many other possibilities? Well, he/she can. Also, I’m pretty sure he’s just gonna kill everyone while they ogle at Samus. A strong, sexy female lead? Gun on her arm? Electric whip? Yea, we got that B-roll!
Team Two: Agent 47 and Chris Redfield
Did you see the new Hitman trailer? He’s pretty much Liam Neeson from Taken. No. Better. He’s the best assassin. The man can kill anyone with a piano wire. Also, he dresses up for the occasion. Fine-tailored suit and red power tie. Chris Redfield got his PhD in killing zombies and taking on Umbrella. He is so amazing that he can get the same mission done with two fewer inventory spots. This pair will use anything around them as a weapon, and they will be most resourceful in the fights ahead of them.
Team Three: Gordon Freeman and Link
Everyone and their mother has played Half Life, or Half Life 2, or Orange Box. We can thank Gordon Freeman’s game for giving us Portal. That wins the argument. Okay, so he also owns aliens, but my main argument is giving us Portal. Link speaks for himself. He is one of the most iconic characters of all time. He’s so epic that Hollywood is afraid to make a movie starring him. He rescues the princess every time. He doesn’t know what failure is. A man that knows so many successes isn’t going to lose to anyone else in this tournament.
Team Four: Wolverine and Scorpion
Let’s see, the most popular mutant from X-Men and arguably the coolest character from Mortal Kombat. Everyone knows his line, “Get over here!” These two will be superior to any other team in hand-to-hand combat. Oh, and if they aren’t close enough, Scorpion has a nice little gap-closer. Wolverine can’t be hurt due to his indestructible skeleton and insane healing ability. You can’t top this team. Just try it, bub.