National Public Health Announcement



National Public Health Announcement

Editorial By: Telka

National Public Health Announcement
Released February 27, 2002
TJHC Labs, Inc.

When you are a child, it seems nothing can touch you. This sense of immorality keeps you at innocence that nothing can go wrong. You go about your day; usually tackling school, a fresh batch of games, possibly some hockey, and homework.

As you grow older, this shade of illusion is drawn upward. Eyes are exposed to many types of peril that include war, famine, racism, and puberty. This is when you are forced to realize the many conflicts face your life.

I am here today to address one of these “demons”. Mind you, if you have any issues regarding unsettling situations, I suggest you desist with your reading and find a more stomach settling article.

I want to talk to you about an affliction that seems to attack anyone at any time, D.G.D. – also known as Degenerative Gaming Disease.

Degenerative Gaming Disease

D.G.D. is often known as a silent killer of joy. It is a slow process that takes over all sensory glands that are involved in the process of playing games. Mostly this is in reference to video games, but can also include LARPS (Live Action Role Playing), AD&D (Advanced Dungeons and Dragons and similar groups), CCGs (Collectable Card Games), and miniatures such as Warhammer. Result is a household with no paraphernalia related to the above mentioned groups and no desire to participate.

Who?

It often afflicts young males, ages 13 and upwards, but has been known to infect the female gender as well if certain circumstances are in place. The origins are unknown, as there are no definite tracking methods available.

All studies have shown that you must be a gamer. This is the constant variable in the equation. Genre is not applicable considering all known types have surrendered. Once it was debated that those who participated in R.P.G.s (abbreviation for Role Playing Games) were higher at risk – especially those who congregated with fellow gamers using dice and miniature pewter models depicting their favored fantasy identity. Over time, this proved untrue as the gaming medium became more household friendly. Still, there have been signs that point towards being prone to Degenerative Gaming Disease.

Indications that you may be at risk:

• Your girlfriend/boyfriend despises the lifestyle of games
• You feel that racing your Monte Carlo is more important than Metal Gear Solid 2
• You drop two hours of your gaming time to “groom” before you go out
• You are getting married
• You get giddier at the thought of re-arranging your furniture than killing your friends in Halo
• You listen to Barry Manilow
• You start to feel that it’s “not worth your money”

While these are just a few of the ways you can tell, they are inclined to be the most popular. When surveyed, 7 out of 10 former gamers agreed that it was a member of the opposite sex that seemed to “nurture” the infection itself.

Cure

There has not yet been a cure for Degenerative Gaming Disease. This is why we must raise awareness. When in supportive situations, gamers have been known to prolong their habit and even force D.G.D. into remission. While most say the best factor for this is a spouse who also shares the same interests, this may not always be an easy match. Finding the right donor is incredibly risky because although one may harmonize in one area, you may find conflicts in another. Other ways to improve those who might be living with this condition are enduring further study.

If you think you are coming down with Degenerative Gaming Disease, or you think you would like to help someone who is, please feel free to visit your local gaming store or contact the proper authorities.

IF YOU CAN GAME, YOU CAN WIN!