1. Apples to Apples
Now, I've never played Apples to Apples. But everyone that has played it tells me, “Oh my god! You have to play Apples to Apples! It's, like, so fun!” Disclaimer: Not all of my friends talk like that. Anyways, it should be no surprise that the Apples to Apples movie is number one on this list. What will it be about? Snow White. That bi*ch it so hot right now. So the apples in Apples to Apples will be poisoned apples. Yea, another Snow White movie. Got to strike while the iron is hot, isn't that right, Seven Dwarves?! There's already Snow White and the Hunstman (the cool, more adult, action Snow White story), Mirror Mirror (the not good Snow White movie), and the TV show Once Upon a Time (which I am admittedly obsessed with). What's one more, right? For those of you wondering what it has to do with the board game, the answer is nothing. But now Mattel can sell a whole new Snow White themed version. I'm open to the Seven Dwarves being CG versions of Liam Neeson.
If you have any fun, off-the-wall ideas for board game-to-movie adaptation — or just a normal idea that isn't weird — tell us in the comment section below.
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2. Don't Wake Daddy
Don't Wake Daddy sounds like it should be a horror movie — and it should be. Picture Jack Nicholson's character from the shining, except being played by Liam Neeson (of course). It should be about siblings trying to escape for their psychopath father. Maybe he sets death traps up around the house, Saw-style; I don't know. I'm no genius Hollywood mind. All I know is that this board game-to-movie adaptation should be so terrifying that kids will think twice before sneaking out of their room for a late snack. Check the floors for rusty nails. Or make sure your murderous dad is truly asleep in bed.
Operation should be EXACTLY like the board game. Liam Neeson plays a doctor that gets a patient at his hospital that has had things surgically implanted into his body. Now, we should ramp up the types of items from those that were in the board game. Maybe a bomb or grenade? Maybe there's a nanovirus implanted into his heart. In that case, we can turn this into an Innerspace sequel. Get over here Dennis Quaid!
4. Hungry Hungry Hippos
You knew it was going to make an appearance. Hungry Hungry Hippos is the tale of a technologically advanced species of space hippos that come to Earth to consume out resources, thus leaving humankind with nothing to sustain life. Their aircraft features extending hippo jaws that can swallow tanks whole. Yeah, it's another alien invasion movie where humans need to team up and find a way to defeat the extraterrestrial invader, but since when do those not work?
Or we can take this movie an entirely different way and make it about obese people that are hungry for love. When Elizabeth Hippo (plus-sized model) falls in love with Mr. Skinnyton (Neeson), who is the editor of a fashion magazine, hilarious antics ensue.
Two opposing Generals commanding two opposing armies. In their way are soldiers of varying ranks, land mines, men to take out those land mines, a river with three paths to cross, and one Spy on each side. The catch here is that the Spies are highly trained to take out only the opposing General. And those Spies can't kill anyone but the opposing General; if they come across another soldier they'll lose. I don't know how that'll work in a movie exactly — maybe it's futuristic warfare where the Spies are programmed to only kill the Generals through some sort of Biological training. Let Michael Bay figure out the details. Just make sure General Neeson's side wins.
6. Connect Four
I picture a movie version of Connect Four being like a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-type movie, but for guys. It'll have four friends, growing up in the late 70s and throughout the 80s, and it'll be about them going through the trials and tribulations of your teenage years. Picture it being like The Wonder Years, but with them playing Connect Four at a couple of points in the movie. And Liam Neeson can be the narrator.
7. Chutes and Ladders
Might as well get all the porn out of the way. Chutes and Ladders will be a firefighter-themed gay porno. I don't know if Liam Neeson would do an all-guy scene, so he'll be the Fire Chief that rides them hard — wait, that sounded wrong. He'll just be a Fire Chief.
Yet another board game that already shares its name with a movie. Don't worry, there won't actually be any tornadoes in this movie. This Twister will actually feature people putting themselves in awkward physical positions. Here's the catch — it's a pornographic film. There's no other possible way a plot like this can work in a movie. It'll be all about the sex with some insane, acrobatic sex positions. We are talkin' yoga-type moves. And that girl-girl scene… oh man! I can't wait to see Liam Neeson's money shot when the spinner lands on 'right hand green' and he's the last one left standing.
9. Guess Who
Yea, I know Guess Who was already a movie, but it wasn't based on the board game. It was a mildly funny movie featuring the late Bernie Mac and Ashton Doucher, eh hem, Kutcher. The Guess Who movie based on the board game would be a mystery, much like Clue. Maybe there's a heist, or a diamond gets stolen. Evidence is gathered and the two detectives have to start crossing suspects off of their list. In the end, it's the detective played by Liam Neeson that did it! Also, the movie can have a huge cast of stars, like Mars Attacks or those damn New Year's Eve movies.
So the movie Battleship was released, and I've heard good and bad reviews of it. Whether or not you think making the board game into a movie against aliens was a good idea, it happened. What board game is next on the list? Candy Land, starring Adam Sandler. Hollywood has already hit up popular books, toys, 80s television shows, comics, and older movies for material. Since it seems like there are no original ideas anymore, maybe board games are the next place for them to go and suck dry.
With that being said, here are 10 board games that I can see Hollywood making into movies. Keep in mind that the movie doesn't have to be anything like the board game. Get ready to have your mind blown…
This is the easiest board game to make a movie out of. It has a few popular movie characteristics: massive world war, battles, and a one-word title. There's so many different ways a world domination movie can go. It could be a World War III scenario where six different groups of allies strive for control. Tired of the human vs human stuff? Well throw in a fight against aliens, because that hasn't been done enough. Put a fantasy spin on it and have it be Orcs, Dwarves, Elves, and Humans fighting for domination. The possibilities are endless. Just promise me one thing: cast Liam Neeson.