reviews\ Dec 22, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Gods vs. Humans Review


Not too many games manage to actually make gamers feel like chumps. Sure, people feel cheated when they play a bad game that was incredibly overhyped, but Gods vs. Humans is more than just false advertisement. In actuality, the game was never really promoted all that much. Rather than fooling you into believing it’s a quality title, Gods. vs. Humans makes you feel like a chump due to its repetitive, unrewarding gameplay.

The plot in Gods vs. Humans is fairly interesting. Land dwellers have decided to build massive structures in order to gain access to the heavens and overthrow their deities. It is your job to control several mythological gods and stop the humans from wreaking havoc. Though this tale is certainly fun to think about, the way Gods vs. Humans plays out makes it totally ludicrous.

At its core, Gods vs. Humans is a strategy game; however, it lacks the necessary fundamentals that make these types of games thoughtful, challenging, and rewarding. The game screen consists of the humans’ tower. Numerous floors make up the tower, and each of these has four support columns that you must destroy in order for that floor to collapse. When this happens, the tower’s foundations at the very bottom take sever damage. Completely obliterate the foundations, and the level is cleared.

At your disposal are a number of offensive and defense powers that can be used to destroy the columns or slow the humans’ pace. You can throw fireballs and lightning, cause a hailstorm, or summon a wicked sandstorm to cause damage to the structure. You can also call forth a sexy babe in order to distract the humans, bringing them joy in the process. The strange thing here is that whenever you do something like this, they begin to praise you and your respect gauge increases. It’s pretty strange that the same people who are trying to conquer you actually have a fondness for you. Also ridiculous is the fact that you have to wait for an attack meter to fill up a certain amount depending on the attack you wish to use.

If the humans’ respect is great, they’ll work at a slow pace and allow you to deal major damage. When they get riled up, though, they literally pour onto whatever floor you may be focusing your attacks on and begin to undo all of your hard work by building away. You have to try to avoid striking these folks down, though, as doing so makes them really aggressive. Doing this is easier said than done, as the humans run around frantically repairing the damage you’ve dealt, and they always seem to be in the way. The game quickly becomes a repetitive struggle where your pattern involves attacking, watching as the humans undo your work while you wait for your attack meter to fill up, and attacking again. And it is here that the game makes you feel like a complete chump.

Of course none of this actually starts happening until you’ve gotten through about 20% of the game. For the first dozen stages, you can progress in a matter of minutes by simply targeting the structure’s foundations and spamming away with fireballs. You have to summon a lovely wench here and there to keep the humans happy every once in a while, but you can get by just fine by tapping on the left mouse button for the first few levels. The inane lack of difficulty early on coupled with the repetitious back-and-forth struggle to destroy the towers later on makes Gods vs. Humans a bothersome game more than anything else.

Gods vs. Humans isn’t a very long game, and even if it was, it probably wouldn’t keep you interested for too long. There are some unlockable challenges such as destroying five floors in under three minutes or refraining from using strong powers, but none of these are particularly enjoyable. There is also a competitive multiplayer mode where you have to race against a friend to see who can destroy a tower in the least amount of time, but this isn’t all that much fun either.

From an artistic standpoint, Gods vs. Humans looks really nice. The game has a cel-shaded look, characters appear quirky and kind of adorable, and everything you see is smooth and purposely polygonal. It’s a clean presentation that doesn’t take itself at serious, and it’s one of the game’s stronger aspects. The soundtrack, though, is nothing special and consists of a handful themes that are neither good nor bad; they’re simply forgettable.

Ultimately, Gods vs. Humans is passable, but it isn’t a very easy title to recommend. The game is overly restrictive due to its metered gameplay; you need to formulate repetitive attack patterns ad nauseam; and the extra content is hardly worth checking out. There are worse ways to spend an afternoon, but there are also far better games to choose from.


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David Sanchez David Sanchez is the most honest man on the internet. You can trust him because he speaks in the third person.
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