originals\ Sep 28, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Up Up Down Down: Duke Nukem Forever


Up until now, every edition of Up Up Down Down has focused on games that were overall critically praised. Thus far, I've talked about titles including Tomb Raider, Sleeping Dogs, Saints Row 4, and, most recently, Rayman Legends. This time, however, I want to take a look at a game that garnered a mostly negative reception. The game in question is Duke Nukem Forever. Funnily enough, I actually enjoyed the crass FPS title. Still, I definitely saw its massive, pulsating... flaws, so I'm not about to pretend that it was a perfect or near-perfect game.

Of course, I still think Duken Nukem Forever is pretty good despite its shortcomings. Hey, that's okay, right?

Duke Nukem Forever - 1

Up Up: Old school FPS gameplay

I have fond memories of classic Nintendo 64 shooters such as Goldeneye 007 and Turok 2: Seeds of Evil. The latter, in particular, was one of my favorite games at the time. Sure, Duke Nukem Forever is in no way a classic, and it'll probably never be fondly remembered by anyone, but the entire time I played it, I was instantly taken back to that just-shoot-everything mentality that was so prominent in the late '90s. The game's mechanics are entirely simplistic, but I had a blast with the nonstop shoot 'em up style.

Down Down: Maybe it's a little too old school

I totally understand why a lot of people don't like Duke Nukem Forever. The FPS genre has managed to evolve quite drastically over the past few decades. This game, however, doesn't feature the strides that have been prominent in other titles. It's a simple shooter in its most basic form, and it never tries to be anything other than that. For someone like me who doesn't play every single FPS that pops up, that may be okay. For others — those who are heavily invested in the genre — the archaic style found here will stick out like a sore thumb.

Duke Nukem Forever - 2

Up Up: The vulgar humor is pretty funny

Oh, come on, you don't enjoy being able to grab a turd and throw it around? That's funny! If you like vulgar themes, chances are you may enjoy starting out Duke Nukem Forever by taking a leak into a urinal. Sure, the novelty wears thin after the first two times, but it's toilet humor in its most literal sense. Then there are Duke's one-liners, which consist of stupid jokes and perverted comments. Again, if you're a fan of this sort of thing, you're probably going to get a kick out of the themes and humor on hand.

Down Down: Vulgar humor isn't for everyone

While some folks are sure to have fun seeing Duke slap around alien boobs, others will undoubtedly be either offended or indifferent about it. That's because some people just don't enjoy pervy themes. Hey, that's okay. For those people, the game won't be stupid fun, it'll just be plain stupid.

Of course, the people who claim that Duke Nukem Forever is an ungodly, immoral endeavor need to reevaluate what they're spending their time bitching about. Just be like the people who thought it was stupid and move on.

Duke Nukem Forever - 3

Up Up: Umm... The bosses are big? I don't know

Okay, see, now I'm running out of ideas. That's probably why I think Duke Nukem Forever is a good game and not a great one. Despite the fact that the bosses are taxing, frustrating, and often infuriating affairs, I really appreciate how freakin' big they are. This all goes back to the game's old school approach — take on aliens way bigger than you, and then proceed to feel badass after you blast 'em to bits!

Down Down: Driving sequences are a drag

It's generally cool being able to mow down baddies one after another, especially since you get access to some pretty decent guns throughout the course of the adventure. Driving around, on the other hand, just doesn't cut it. It's not fun having to commandeer a vehicle in this game. This is partially because the cars handle like ass, but also because they break the action horribly. When Duke Nukem Forever and Ever eventually launches (note: this is not a real thing), let's hope there's no vehicle-based gameplay.

Duke Nukem Forever - 4

Left Right Left Right: Well, at least it launched, right?

I don't consider Duke Nukem Forever an underrated treasure. It was never going to be a great game worthy of immense praise. Even then, there is an audience for it. It's immature, sure, but it's not the grossest, most pitiful game to come along. If, like me, you enjoy old school shooters with nonsensical themes, you may just find a bit of entertainment in this crap-soaked FPS.

Plus, it's only like $4 at GameStop.

Want to talk about indie games, Kirby, or cheap pizza? Follow me on Twitter @dr_davidsanchez.

About The Author
David Sanchez David Sanchez is the most honest man on the internet. You can trust him because he speaks in the third person.
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