Really? An Expendables 2 video game? REALLY?
So here I am perusing IGN, when suddenly... EXPENDABLES 2: THE VIDEO GAME!!! I shit you not. I don't think I could make something like this up. According to IGN a.k.a. 'Let's make a post with one sentence that gets more views than other sites do in a day,' (that's jealousy speaking) there is an "unannounced video game adaptation of The Expendables on the cards." Okay then.
They also note that Ubisoft is listed as author, publisher and applicant. I really hope that isn't the case, because I'd hate to see amazing games like Splinter Cell: Blacklist, Assassin's Creed III, and Watch Dogs standing shoulder to shoulder with The Expendables 2 Video Game.
Looks like they got the costume designer of the Broadway hit musical "Newsies."
Think about what an Expendables 2 video game would look like: knife, knife, explosion, knife, bigger explosion, throwing knife kill, rocket launcher death, fist fight, sagging 60-year-old pectoral muscle zoom-in, knife, gunfight, knife, Chuck Norris' beard. The thing is, there's already an Expendables 2 video game. It's called...
EVERY CALL OF DUTY EVER MADE!
Seriously, wouldn't an Expendables 2 video game just be a modern Black Ops? Just replace the characters with Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Chuck Norris, Liam Hemsworth and Arnold Schwarzenegger. The Call of Duty games already have all the knife kills and explosions you need. It'll be Call of Duty with Gears of War character look-alikes.
And zombie mode in The Expendables 2 video game? Don't worry. Sly Stallone has it covered.
We don't need a quick video game cash-in on another movie that no one will buy. Learn a lesson from the Battleship video game.
You can follow Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ. KCCO.