Originals

Posted by: Alex Faciane

• 1 comments

Minecraft is like, the thing, you guys. Everyone knows it, everyone LOVES it, and in the tradition of every nerdy thing there is to love on the internet, many a company has made a killing off of producing t-shirts about it. This was suffocatingly apparent as I was scrolling through the designs on Mojang’s main site the other day. Maybe I was a little drunk, but a bitter, little idea grew somewhere inside my heart of hearts, and before I knew what was happening, I had become obsessed with the idea that any old dumbo could do that just as well as they had.

Me last night, with my favorite hat on.

So, one night of drunken idea-spitballing later, I present you with the motherlode. Call me generous, perhaps even a philanthropist, but I give them to you free of charge. All you need is a bootleg copy of Photoshop and the time to make designs for as many of these zingers as you can until “Voila!” and a bunch of you make a bunch of buckaroons, c-notes, smackers, and bonelies. So without further ado, in honor of the full version’s recent release, 30 Minecraft slogans we’d like to see on t-shirts. You’re welcome.

Also, write your own as comments, duh!

1.  Play Minecraft, If You’ve Got The Stones.

2.  Is That A Wooden Pickaxe In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

3.  I’m Straight Up DIGGING Minecraft! (But Seriously, Don’t Dig Straight Up.)

4.  Have A Golden Apple In Honor Of Steve’s Jobs.

5.  Don’t Look Now, It’s An Enderman!

6.  Dance, Mr. Mojangles!

7.  Don’t Fear The Creeper (But Do. DO.)

8.  New Blocks On The Kids

9.  Water Ladder?! I Barely Know Her!

10.  Kick It Up A NOTCH. This Is Not An Emeril Shirt. It’s A Minecraft Shirt.

11.  To Be Ore Not To Be.

12.  Follow Me To Nether Nether Land!

13.  Do Spider Jockeys Wear Spider Jockstraps?

14.  I Ain’t Afraid Of No Ghasts.

15.  Jesus Is My Texture Pack.

16.  Knick Knack Patty Whack Give A Wolf A Bone.

17.  Yo, F*ck Creepers.

18.  Stackable Porkchops...Mmm...

19.  SO MUCH REDSTONE.

20.  You Smelt My Heart.

21.  W.W.N.D.?

22.  I’m In A Feud With The Mobs.

23.  Ender The Dragon

24.  Punching Trees Gives Me Wood.

25.  The Cake Is NOT A Lie.

26.  I’m Building A Relationship With My Surroundings.

27.  You Are A Beautiful Persson.

28.  Sssssssssssssss. (Boom.)

29.  Not Yourscraft.

30. Crafting Since Alpha.