GameZone Review Scale Changes, IGN Follows, World in Deep Trouble
From GameZone’s inception more than 10 years ago, we’ve used a 100-point review scale. This allowed guys like myself to get really, really specific with reviews and differentiate between upper-tier racing games by saying that one was worthy of a 7.6, and another was worthy of a 7.7.
Of course, to get a more detailed answer as to why one racing game was slightly better than the other, gamers had to actually read the review.
As a result, GameZone recently decided that it was time for a change. Earlier this year, the site switched over to a 20-point scale in which games received points and half-points (such as 8 or 8.5). We thought it was a wise move overall, but never in our wildest dreams did we imagine that it could bring undue harm to planet Earth. After all, it’s just a scoring system. Only meteors can destroy our world….right?
Wrong. It turns out that a review scale – no matter how big, no matter how expansive – is capable of obliterating every one of us. How do I know this? Because IGN said so. After months of admiring the Earth-shattering review scale changes at GameZone, IGN announced that it would also switch over to a 20-point system.
To see what effect this might have on our beloved home planet, I spoke to Dr. Chess Shurcat, a scientist at the Center for Intergalactic Monitoring.
“This could be quite problematic for our future survival,” he said, clutching his 'I Heart Space' mug. “But not as problematic as the release of Naughty Bear. That was a total disaster.”
Does This Mean More 10s…?
…From our competitors? Probably. But not at GameZone. We are dedicated to thoroughly reviewing games, honestly and openly. If a game sucks, we’ll tell you why you should avoid it. If a game is great, we’ll tell you why you should sell your parents’ car and buy 10 copies of it.*
*Not really. Gamers should never, ever sell their parents’ cars without permission. Not even to play the new Grand Theft Auto. (That would be ironic though.)
What Happened To Old Reviews?
When GameZone decided to adjust the review scale, it did so with an existing database of thousands of reviews. While we were focused on the future, we had no intention of abolishing the past. We left the relics in their original 100-point form, which means that – if you look hard enough – you can still find old racing game scores** that are only 1/10 of a point apart.
Our sly competitor took the same route, proving once again that if it’s good enough for GameZone, it’s good enough for IGN.
**From me. I wrote those. Proudly!
What Happens Next?
Frankly, I’m scared. What happens if other sites catch on to what GameZone is doing and decide to follow suit? What if they realize that we are, in fact, the pioneers of game reviewing and begin to copy everything we do!?
In that event, I’m afraid that Naughty Bear may have finally met its match and the world may indeed come to an end.
Let’s Think Positively, People!
There is a silver lining, of course. You could say that we are the crystal ball of the game industry. Those of you who are eager to see what’s going to happen next could simply visit GameZone and ignore the other websites.
Cats and Godzilla
I’m not sure what this has to do with anything, but I felt the need to say it anyway.
Here, have a picture of Mario fighting Yoda:
Wait, Did You Say Mario and Yoda?
Yeah, sorry about that. They aren’t really going to battle each other anytime soon. That would be cool though. Hmm, I’ve got an idea – Mario and Bowser should team up to fight Yoda and Darth Sidious in a new video game. I smell a hit, people!
Thanks for reading GameZone. I know IGN’s decision to follow our review scale might upset some of you, but remember: imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. When other sites look to us to see what they should do next, they are merely trying to say, “We love you.”
And you know what? We love us too.
Louis Bedigian Freelance Journalist, GameZone.com