news\ Jan 14, 2013 at 12:03 pm

White House issues hilarious response to the Death Star Petition


You may recall a few weeks back a petition urging the United States to "secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016." If it sounds ridiculous, that's because it is. Still, it somehow managed to secure the 25,000 signatures necessary to require an official White House response. And its response was freaking awesome.

Cleary tongue-in-cheek, the response was filled with fair reason and a good amount of Star Wars references, likely appeasing those who signed the petition. It's safe (or at least hope it is for the future of America) to assume those signing the petition were looking for some sort of humorous response. I'd like to think the majority of American's realize how ridiculous it would be for the U.S. government to actually waste money building a Death Star. Still, the White House's official response is golden.

Appropriately named "This Isn't The Petition Response Your Looking For," it's filled with tons of Star Wars references and very logical reasoning. It starts off listing these three primary reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Who can honestly argue with that? The response goes on to acknowledge our already impressive space endeavors which includes a football field-sized International Space Station that's "helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations." 

Best of all, is the urging of U.S. citizens to enter a career in a science, technology, engineering, or math-related field to help build America's future in space. It points out the Obama administration's investment in technology and space exploration, including the Mars Rover, as well as the first ever science fair held at the White House.

"If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force," the Petition concludes. Read the full White House response here.

The White House's petition response was written by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget. This man deserves a raise -- wait, nevermind; that would likely mean an increase in taxes.

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