Unlike Shia LaBeouf, I don't need to be in a movie to have real sex
I'll stop acting like I'm cool now. While I'm sure Shia LaBeouf gets plenty of sex outside of his movies, that doesn't change the fact that he plans to do the nasty on the big screen. I guess that's the big difference between him and I — I don't film my escapades. Yea... that's the only difference.
I'll get right to it. In Shia LaBeouf's next movie, he will be having a sex scene, only the sex is real. The movie is Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac, and it follows the erotic events in the life of a woman (Charlotte Gainsbourg) from her youth to age 50. von Trier has no plans to "simulate" the sex happening in the film. In speaking with MTV News, LaBeouf said:
It is what you think it is. There's a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says, we're doing [the sex] for real. And anything that is 'illegal' will be shot in blurred images. But other than that, everything is happening.
...illegal? Are we talking gerbils and torture porn? In the interview (which you can watch below), he's sitting next to next to costar Jessica Chastain in the movie Lawless. Her reaction to what LaBeouf is saying he's doing in Nymphomaniac is priceless. Apparently, LaBeouf admits he took the role because von Trier is "dangerous." He said, "He scares me. And I'm only going to work now when I'm terrified."
You know what doesn't terrify Shia LaBeouf? Transformers sequels, lackluster Indiana Jones films, and Hollywood blockbusters. That's why Shia won't be doing from big Hollywood studio and instead focusing on projects he must fight for and more of the indie style. He told The Hollywood Reporter:
I'm done. There's no room for being a visionary in the studio system. it literally cannot exist. You give Terrence Malick a movie like Transformers, and he's f**ked. There's no way for him to exist in that world.
Yea, he kinda sounds like a snob when you read it. But he's made some mistakes in a career that started with Disney's Even Stevens. Between drunken brawls and bad-talking a movie he's in, he's had his fair share of 'whoops' moments. But maybe he's finally figured out what he wants, and being in those movies — that netted him a ton of money — allows him the opportunity to focus on more artistic movies.
In summary, Shia LaBeouf will be having real sex and will do whatever Lars von Trier asks of him in his upcoming movie Nymphomaniac, which begins filming next month. Also rumored to be in the movie are Nicole Kidman and Willem Dafoe, who has experience with von Trier from Antichrist. Stellan Skarsgard is also in Nymphomaniac.
I like Shia. I've enjoyed some of his work, and I think he gets a bad rap sometimes. Just remember Shia — you already got the creepy mustache. Between that and having sex on camera, you're one step closer to this as a career choice...
You can follow Movies and Culture Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ