news\ Sep 27, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Twisted Pixel Games Confirm 'Splosion Man

April 2, 2009

Twisted Pixel Games Confirm 'Splosion Man

Creators of The Maw Confirm Next Title For Xbox LIVE Arcade

Millions quake in fear today as Twisted Pixel Games confirms the existence of the ‘Splosion Man. In a world already doomed by the planet-scourge The Maw, this new threat emerges from a top-secret military lab, big science gone wrong. His tale will be found on Xbox LIVE Arcade shortly before the world is incinerated.

The Man Behind The ‘Splosion

Like a bad Icarus metaphor, scientists create ‘Splosion Man too close to the Sun. Born of plasma and flame in an underground military lab, ‘Splosion Man can ‘splode at will, propelling himself around a side-scrolling world and destroying everything in his way. Scientists unleash all of their technology in an attempt to stop him, but his path is relentless. Any scientist he catches is ‘sploded into chunks of ham and ribeyes, the smell of their destruction terrifying, but also a little succulent.

The Four ‘Splosions of the Apocalypse

Scattered video feeds point to a chilling prospect: ‘Splosion Man may not be alone. Up to four ‘Splosion Men have been seen traveling in concert, ‘sploding off of each other and working cooperatively towards total mayhem. Further reports indicate the controllers of these ‘Splosion Men may be huddled together on couches, some may be connected via the interwebs, or perhaps even on couches and interwebs at the same time.

A Sick Populace Responds

Rather than phoning Mom or their local Congressman, some have seen fit to embrace this scientific monstrosity, going so far as to score his destruction and his fastest times and posting them to “leaderboards.” Others have championed the largest creations of the scientists, dubbing them “bosses” and marveling at their strength and power. Still others have acknowledged the upcoming destruction of our world and sat back to enjoy some last barbequed ribs; this is the only response we can truly condone.

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