Realistic Mario is downright murderous
It’s easy to ignore the wholly bloodthirsty acts committed in many video when they’re heavily stylized, hidden behind the game’s graphics and controls and the fact that it’s a game. In the face of this delusion, the Pete Holmes Show’s has brought Nintendo’s icon to life in sobering realism: as a cold-blooded killer of Koopas.
Gary Rivers, a father of two, is cut down by the plumber’s merciless jump. He was lucky; his mourning friend suffers a worse fate just moments after arriving on the scene. Truly a tragic day.
In all seriousness, it’s a hysterical parody of the game—one of many, in fact. Now, if we can just convince FOX News that video games don’t poison youthful minds and replace every shred of peace in society with intentions so foul they’d make the devil himself wrinkle his nose, we’ll be in business.