Is it a stretch that 'Stretch Armstrong' is going to be a movie?
So this is a thing, huh? Whatever — let's go with it. I guess a while back there were rumors that Taylor Lautner (chiseled chested, bad actor wolf-guy from Twilight) was going to star in a Stretch Armstrong film. I don't know if this is true or not, because I don't listen to anything that has Taylor Lautner's name attached to it. I do know that he was in Abduction, which just looked awful. Just plain awful.
Well it looks like Universal, after having problems with the project, let the rights to go Relativity Media. Now, all of a sudden, there's an April 2014 release date on the movie, and it's got a director and sh*t. The director is none other than Breck Eisner, who I really like. Eisner directed The Crazies, which was a totally killer movie, and Sahara. Also, Greg Poirier, whose most notable work is National Treasure: Book of Secrets, is supposedly handling screenwriting duties.
Stretch Armstrong is of course going to be based on the toy of the mid 70s to mid 90s. He was a muscular, blonde man full of gel that would stretch to four times his original size, and then go back to that original size. I'll now pause for you to make a penis joke.....
It's not known whether the film is going to be taken seriously or be made as a comedy in line with 21 Jump Street and stuff like that. I guess we'll learn more as the project forges ahead. It's a long stretch of time between now and April 2014... sorry, I couldn't help myself.
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