news\ Jan 16, 2013 at 9:24 am

Galactic Empire teases Earth over White House denial of Death Star construction


Last week, the White House was obligated to respond to a petition to secure the funds and resources and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016. Because the petition was signed by over 30,000 supports it required a response, and the White House's comeback didn't disappoint. Titled "This Isn't The Petition Response You're Looking For," the humorous, tongue-in-cheek response was chock full of witty Star Wars references and surprisingly logical reasoning.

The response listed three primary reasons: the cost which has been estimated as more than $850,000,000,000,000,000, the Administration's non-support of blowing up planets, and the risk of spending so much money on a Death Star that can be destroyed by a small one-man starship.

So when it was all said and done, the petition was shot down. Still, it was a fun read. But it's not over yet. In response to the White House's construction denial, the Galactic Empire (via Star Wars Blog) has issued its own press release. You can read the full statement below:

IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. “It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,“ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. “Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.”

Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. “The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,” added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. “Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,” added Motti.

Will this Death Star saga ever end, or just carry on like beloved Star Wars franchise film until it no longer resembles the classics?

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