news\ Sep 27, 2011 at 4:19 pm

What Fans Can Expect When Kutcher's Two and a Half Men Takes On Sheen's Comedy Central Roast Tonight


Let the showdown begin. We all knew Charlie Sheen wouldn't go out quietly, and as predicted, he didn't. Comedy Central has "coincidentally" decided to air the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen tonight, the very same night as the premiere of the new Two and a Half Men season.

Are they really competing though? Two and a Half Men's 30-minute opening is at 9:00 PM while Comedy Central is airing the roast at 10:00 PM. Rather than competing, I think both networks are taking advantage of the situation and playing off the popularity of Charlie Sheen. Call

Tonight, fans obsessed with the rock star life of Sheen will get to experience a full night of Charlie Sheen, getting a double dosage of Sheen-related television smut. First, fans can watch Ashton Kutcher step in and try to fill the gap left by Sheen's departure form Two and a Half Men. After that, they can tune into Comedy Central and see the drugged-out, drunkard get roasted by some of the best comics in the industry. That should be a blast.

But what can fans really expect when tuning into the premiere of Two and a Half Men and The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen and Two and a Half Men had a nasty divorce thanks to the public breakdown of its former star, Charlie Sheen. When it became apparent that Sheen would no longer be a part of the show, most assumed it would end, but in a shocking announced CBS filled the void left by Sheen with none other than Ashton Kutcher.

While the majority of Two and a Half Men's premiere plot has been a closely guarded secret, a few spoilers and details have been teased as to what fans can expect to see in tonight's premiere and as the season progresses.

We've known for quite a while that the writers of Two and a Half Men have written off Sheen's character from the show in the form of a death. Deadline confirmed that the new season of Two and a Half Men will begin with a funeral for Charlie Sheen's character, Lothario Charlie Harper. Exactly how Sheen's character died has yet to be revealed, but according to The Daily News, the back-story behind that death is going to be pretty brutal and gruesome. We assume the season premiere tonight will address this in further detail. Rumors have it that after eloping to Paris with Rose (his stalker neighbor/friend), Rose finds Charlie in the shower with another women. The image of Sheen in the shower with anyone is gruesome enough for me. The next day, Charlie supposedly "slips" onto a subway platform and is crushed by an oncoming train.

As everyone knows by now, Ashton Kutcher is filling the giant shoes of Charlie Sheen. According to leaks, Kutcher will be playing Walden Schmidt, "a billionaire Internet entrepreneur going through a nasty divorce." According to deadline, Kutcher's character is one of the prospective buyers (rumored to include John Stamos and Jenny McCarthy) who tour Charlie's house in the second part of the premiere. It's expected that Kutcher not only purchases the house, but works out an arrangement with the other one-and-a-half residents that keeps the same two and a half dynamic intact.

But don't expect Two and a Half Men to completely forget about Sheen's character. "The history of the show does not go away at all," said Jon Cryer, who plays Charlie's brother Alan. Cryer added that the season's storyline will deal with the ramifications of Charlie's death, including the possibility that a key character will need to be institutionalized due to the consequences of grief. I wouldn't be surprised to see it be the half-man Jake Harper (played by Angus T. Jones). You know how those child stars get when they grow up. Throw in the death of a family member and you're looking at a storyline filled with alcohol and coke addiction.

In a weird change of pace, fans can expect a sort of role-revearsal for Cryer's character, Alan, who is known as the more reserved, neurotic, and romantically-challenged brother. When Kutcher's "lovesick and suicidal" character arrives, Alan becomes the more romantically experienced roommate and takes on the role as mentor. Seeing as how this show was always based on a somewhat realistic portrayal of Sheen's life, I have a problem with this new twist. I just don't think Kutcher suffers in the bedroom and is "less experienced" than Jon Cryer. It'll be interesting to see how Alan changes this season.

Of course, what would Two and a Half Men be without an entourage of strange women entering in and out of the picture. Even though Ashton Kutcher's new character is now the focus of the show, you can still expect dysfunctional romance. Kutcher's ex-wife will be played by Judy Greer and former Ally McBeal star Courtney Thorne-Smith is rejoining the series, reprising her role as a romantic interest for Alan. She played that part for 10 episodes last season.

Now, here is where things start to get ugly. Sheen has already stated that he intends to watch the premiere of his former-show. So after he is nice and liquored-up, he can attempt to stay up to re-experience comedians humiliate him. Fans can expect a sh*t show with this one. Lot's of crude humor, drug and alcohol references, and pretty much an overall good time. There's really not much else to say about this one, except expect to laugh a lot. Fans can laugh their a**es off with some pretty brutal jokes told by some of the best comedians. Filmed a week ago, some networks have already released some of the appropriate jokes some of the funnier jokes from the Roast.

Here's a taste of the kind of humor you can expect when tuning into Comedy Central's Roast of Charlie Sheen.

"On 'Two and a Half Men' tonight, they're apparently having a funeral for Charlie's character. But there's no need to switch over. In a few months, you can probably see the real thing." — Roastmaster and "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane

"His nostrils are so snotty and filled with coke, they could be called the Hilton sisters." — Jeffrey Ross

“The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox.” — Anthony Jeselnik (Wow, that one is just plain mean)

"His nostrils are so snotty and filled with coke, they could be called the Hilton sisters." — Jeffrey Ross (This one could be mean, but does anyone really like the Hilton sisters?)

“You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony’s kid.” — Anthony Jeselnik (Just when I didn't think it could get any more inappropriate...yet, hilarious)

And with that one, I'll stop. So which one will you be watching? Luckily, the time slots for both shows allow you to watch both. I know I am going to veg out on the couch and let the Charlie Sheen marathon rot my brain. I'll probably show up to work with a few less brain cells. Good thing you don't need a brain to play video games, amiright?

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