'A Christmas Story 2' is a real movie that actual money paid for...
In case any of you were concerned there wasn't going to be another A Christmas Story movie... there's another A Christmas Story movie. And it's coming straight to Blu-ray and DVD, so you know it's good.
A Christmas Story 2 is proof that everyone in Hollywood is busy snorting cocaine, so there's no one around them to tell them a movie like this is an awful idea. The movie revolves around an older Ralphie (not Peter Billingsley) going through pretty much everything he already went through in the first movie. There's the leg lamp again, and Ralphie in an embarassing costume. Actor Daniel Stern (Marv from Home Alone) plays the old man, aka Ralphie's dad.
This is a movie that has no right being made. It is an abomination, and I'm going to go really southern on you and demand we burn all copies in a protest. It'll arrive on store shelves October 30, just in time to ruins your holiday season, so make sure you have plenty of matches and light fluid by then.
If you really need more of A Christmas Story than the 24-hour marathon that runs on TBS every year, then go see A Christmas Story musical on Broadway. It is a limited/special run this holiday season from November 5th to December 30th at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre.
You can follow Movies and Culture Editor Lance Liebl on Twitter @Lance_GZ