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British Journalist Calls Modern Warfare 3 "The Most Homoerotic Tale Ever Created"

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Posted by: Vito Gesualdi

If you've never seen either Charlie Booker's Newswipe or Charlie Booker's Screenwipe, know that you're missing out on some of the most entertaining and informative television ever produced, with the titular host using his own brand of sardonic wit to tear apart the industries of journalism and television, respectively. Though sadly Charlie Booker's Gameswipe only lasted a single episode, Booker hasn't held back from unleashing his vitrol on the gaming world, tearing apart Modern Warfare 3 in a recent editorial for British newspaper The Guardian.

He first reflects on how war games like Call of Duty pile on senseless violence and hypermasculinity in an attempt to disguise just how unmanly it is to sit on a couch and play a video game. He writes:

"Games are inherently wussy. The stereotype of the bespectacled dweeby gamer is an inaccurate cliche, but there's no denying games are far from a beefy pursuit."

Though his biggest complaint about the game regards its storyline, which he refers to as "the most homoerotic tale ever created in any medium, including Frankie Goes to Hollywood videos."

"I think Captain Price's "look" was designed by Tom of Finland" he says, referring to the famous homoerotic fantasy artist. "Your other companion is a Scottish lad called Soap. I'm not sure why he's called Soap, although I think it's because Captain Price once picked him up in a bathhouse." He then goes on to speculate about who is on top in this homosexual relationship, saying he wish the game makers could just be honest about what they've made and let the two characters kiss, or as he puts it, "press X to use tongues."

Given the game's wild popularity, it seems obvious Booker is looking to stir up some controversy. Knowing how riled up gamers can get, we advise Mr. Booker to pick up a riot helmet, stat.

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